Let Me Tell You Something, Brother!

Eat your vitamins.  Say your prayers.  Listen to your mom and dad.  The motto of little Hulkamaniacs everywhere.  I think my dad added the bit about abiding by the words of your parentals, but I didn’t care.  I was seven years old and I loved that I could file my fandom for Hulk Hogan in that special “Daddy and Me Only” folder along with GI Joe, Willie Nelson, Baseball, Cheers, and Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.

What a novel idea that a childhood role model endorsed a positive M. O.  Are you listening, 21st century?!?!

It’s weird to sound like the old coot, talking about the 80’s as “simpler times” and how “sh*t just ain’t what it used’ta be, dag nummit!”  But it’s the honest to God truth.  Sensibilities have changed.  Technology has advanced so far that as much as it enhances our quality of life, it also makes the world a very small, cynical place where everyone knows everything about everyone.  The most gabbed about people in the world are ones who make sex tapes and repeatedly plow their Porsches into a sea of paparazzi.  We crave the most appalling tripe and are easily bored with calm, cozy, feelgood-edness.

Oh and I forgot to mention that I am a home-owning, tax-paying, husband and father, striding into his mid-30’s who is rather comfortably removed from anything and everything that makes “them young people” tick.  I am still coming to grips with the idea that I am no longer the star of my own movie.  So I can’t help but roll my eyes and “pfft” at the lameness of Facebook status updates and Twilight movies and Katy Perry videos and anything associated with the letters M, T, and V.

That’s why people like me – – good, fine people – – fill their free time living in the days of what used to be.  People like me will never have a “new” favorite band or a “new” favorite movie.  And we sure as hell are not going to assimilate ourselves into a culture that A) we don’t understand and B) doesn’t want us old dudes stinkin’ up the joint.  Do kids still say “joint?”

I’m at peace with my place in the world.  Do what makes you happy and don’t be a douche.  Words to live by.  Words I live by because I said’em.  And I thank my pops for celebrating (early) Hulk Hogan because a positive train of thought has to start somewhere, and mine started here (I don’t care what you say.  There’s no denying how awsome this is):

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